First Entry into Series: “Stories of People I Have Encountered”

"A Man In An Airport Café"
I met a man at the airport who let me share his table, paid for my meal, and wanted nothing in return. Let me back up.
I had just spend the whole month of December and better part of January visiting family and friends for the holidays. When you can fly for free, people expect that it’s no big deal for you to come to them all the time, and you are happy to try. Until you reach the end of a 5 week period and realize that you have only spend 5 days at home. No wonder you are so exhausted.

My last trip was over to Coeur D’Alene, Idaho to visit my dear from Saryl and her honey and meet up with a new friend now close to us all. We spent the weekend making forts, drinking St Germane, and learning to ski (only I learned to ski, sweet Saryl taught me how, the rest knew already). It was a lovely, cozy, snowy weekend and it was all I could to rustle up enough energy to be present with my dear friends as we danced to “Pump Up the Jam” and had late night whispers under chair legs and raised bed sheets. When I left my heart was full, my energy level was empty.

I got to the Spokane airport a little early, bought some relaxing tea and when to find a place to sit and read my book. That’s when I noticed two things: 1) both flights in my little terminal were delayed an hour, including mine, and 2) I was hungry. After some debate I decided to go check out the menu at the one little restaurant in the area. The options looked good, but the tables looked bad. I was about to walk away when I heard a middle aged business man say, “Are you looking for a table? You can share mine, I’m just doing some emailing.” Bless his soul, it was my only option.

I sat down, quickly put in my order for a burger, no bun, lots of fries, and pulled out my book so he wouldn’t feel obligated to play host to the stranger on the opposite side of the table. He struck up a conversation with me anyway.
“I noticed your badge, do you work for the airline?”
“Yes I do, I’m a flight attendant.”
“Then you spend a lot of time in airports too, huh?”
“You could definitely say that. Do you travel a lot for work?”
“Yeah. My family and I have just moved to a little cabin outside of Spokane when I got offered a position in Burlington. We really didn’t want to move so I rented a little condo and I live there half the week and come home on weekends.”

My burger arrived with a bunch of shredded, see through lettuce on top and fries spilling over the side of the plate. Airport food, its for survival.

“It’s a rough life huh? You are lucky your family is so understanding since you have to travel so much.”
“Yeah I was just talking to my wife about that. We were figuring out the numbers and if gas prices and plane tickets stay this low, it would actually be cheaper for me to give up the condo and travel home every night.”
“How far is that to drive?”
“If traffic is good and I am speeding, I can make it home in 4 ½ hours.”
“You know what’s hard about that? People like you and me make it so important to be able to be home. But to the people at home, they only know that we walk in the door every night for dinner. They easily take for granted that they are so important to you that you are willing to drive 4 ½ hours every night just to be home, or sit in airport terminals drinking crown and talking to strangers just so you can eat dinner with them and tuck them into bed each night. That’s a lot of effort to see your kids for three hours a night. I mean, take this month for example. It was so important for me to be with family for Christmas that I had to rush back from Medford where my grandparents live to Portland in order to get to work on time. I worked a horrible trip over Christmas so that I could get home on Saturday morning, the day we planned to do family Christmas, and have the whole day with my family. They still all didn’t show up until 2, but I was ready. Then I woke up early New Year’s Day, hung over and everything, to hop another flight up to Bellingham so I could be with my friends for one day while they were all home together. Whenever I finally get home tonight I have to do laundry, repack, and immediately go to sleep because I have to work tomorrow. Make no mistake, I am happy to do these things because these people are so important to me, but it is totally exhausting,”
“You are absolutely right. It is exhausting. But if that’s the effort I have to put in in order to have a somewhat ‘normal’ relationship with my kids, then I will do it. I just hope that they understand I am actually putting in all my effort in order to be with them. It would be so easy for them to be resentful that I am gone all the time, when that is the exact opposite of every goal that I have.”

The bill comes and he quickly snatches it up and places his card down. “This is on me.”
“No, you do not have to do that.”
“I want to. You work hard to get people like me to places that we need to go and I appreciate all your effort. Plus, we are in this together.”
They have begun to board his flight, the gate agents are calling for “all 75k, gold and mvp mileage plan members to begin boarding the delayed 5:30 flight to Seattle.”
“Thanks, and I appreciate the effort you put into your family. It really is inspiring to see people who care enough about something to be as creative as they need to make it work. Have a good flight.”
“Thanks, you too.”

He didn’t have to share his table, he didn’t have to pay for my meal, and he really didn’t have to talk to me. But after that conversation, I felt supported by a community greater than myself. A community of people who make relationships the most important thing, whether or not the efforts are acknowledged or returned in kind. We don’t do it for the acknowledgement. We do it because that what you do when you love other people, you make sacrifices and you put in everything you have. You by no means make yourself a martyr. You do it because it’s important to you and because you want to. Then you cross your fingers and hope that it’s enough.

A year of Gratitude and Positivity

This year I have dedicated to be as happy and joyful as I can. I plan on looking for the good things, practicing gratitude, and being aware of the people who inspire me to do so.

I just sat down to my compute and jotted down a list of the last 20 or so people I saw in the last month and wrote out reasons why I am thankful for them. They all inspire me in one way or another, and I know that surrounding myself with such positivity will only encourage me to keep looking up.

It is so easy, and continues to become easier, to be negative. It takes no energy to complain, and yet it actually ends up taking all our energy. It doesn’t matter what the weather is, how busy I have been, how little sleep I have gotten, I am in charge of my attitude and behaviors. I have noticed how easy it has been to let the negative seep in while I am down and keep me there. This leads to nothing but lonely evenings, grumpy attitudes, and boring days. Everything I am against.

I am starting a campaign. I charge you all to join me in practicing a year of gratitude. Surround yourself by positive people, read encouraging words, listen to podcasts about happiness and joy. Surround yourself with light and actively pursue it.

I am going to start writing about the things I am grateful for. I am going to take my list of positivity warriors and expand on it. I am going to spotlight the people who inspire me. I am going to take note of the things I am grateful for. Writing about it will keep me accountable and it will be my way of actively and purposefully pursuing a heart of gratefulness and mindfulness and kindness.

To all my dear friends and families who celebrated the holiday season with me, thank you for your light and your spirits.

In my life today I am grateful for a clear sky and running at sunset, Mt. Hood was practically glowing. I am grateful for downhill skiing for the first time today. I am thankful for a night at home in the middle of a block of days on call. I am grateful for my affordable apartment with big windows, a cozy couch, and our Christmas tree that is still up far into January. I am thankful for the inspiration from The Alchemist which I just finished reading for about the 5th time. And I am thankful that Seven Virtues Coffee is within walking distance from my apartment. And lastly I am thankful for the warm shower I am about to take.

New Year New Focus

I've had the best start to the new year. I rang it in surrounded by family and friends, each close enough to snuggle and kiss on the cheek. We talked dreams and plans that I sincerely believe can come true.

In the morning I scooted up the coastline to dwell amongst my community in Bellingham. I hadn't been to Bellingham since April-April!!! That's far too long to go without seeing such soul friends. The days were spent having brunch, drinking tea, playing party games and experiencing full belly laughs. So much joy and refreshment.

Two days and hopped another flight to coeur d' alene, Idaho for a ski weekend (my first) with some heart friends. We slept in living forts, danced on the couches and make chocolate quinoa cake. Having cherished conversations on ski lifts and at dining room tables rebuilt me.

One week, three cities, countless love. This is my life. And I am so lucky that it is. I have been reminded recently of the control and responsibility I have for my life and my actions. I can make time for my friends or I can sleep in and watch netflix. Both are acceptable, but what is the priority. When I was working all the time I barely had time to take care of my innate needs. And I am so thankful to have a little nest egg saved up, but what price did I pay for it. I was forced to take a hiatus from my community in order to take care of my physical health, but my mental and social health was strained. Mental health and physical health are too closely intertwined for this to be acceptable. My friends are too important to let that be acceptable. And my needs are too important to let that be acceptable. It's only been 3 1/2 days focusing on positivity, on happiness, on reconnecting. I feel so light.

Slowing Down

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I spend my time. When I was young I had all the time in the world. I would spend countless hours curled up by the fire reading a book, or sitting in my open bedroom window behind the curtain watching the rain fall and breathing in the sharp, cold air. I could get lost in an art project and still find time to chat with friends on the phone for hours.

I don’t know where that time has gone. What I do know is that I want to find a way to get it back.

Each day holds the same amount of hours now as it does then. What I realize is that now I have a few more distractions. Facebook, Instagram, sodoku, you name it I have it on my phone ready and able to distract at a moment’s notice. There have been too many times where I suddenly realize I have been scrolling through photos of acquaintances on facebook for several minutes and I’m not entirely sure when I picked up my phone to begin with. Netflix provides stories upon stories of fictitious lives and made up worlds that I can get lost in for hours without ever once putting meaningful effort into the lives around me and the world I live in. And sure, these activities have a time and a place, but they shouldn’t take all the time.

When I am not taking part in these leisurely activities I am faced with a long list of things I need to be doing or should be doing. There are always meals to be made, bills to pay, my room to clean, friends to visit, and another trip on the horizon to pack and then unpack for. A life of “should do, could do, need to do” is no better than a life of “where did the time go?”.

What can I do to ensure I am living a life of intentionality freedom that I can be proud of and that makes me happy? What can I do to make sure I am living a life I want to live?

I have started by slowing down a little bit. Taking out some unnecessary obligations and adding a few of the things I know I enjoy. Instead of scrolling through facebook I take that time to give a friend a call. Instead of watching another episode on t.v. I try to take a moment to journal or work out. Instead of filling my days with plans for weeks on end, I am trying to schedule blank days to do with what I will when they arrive.

But a problem I have always had is my social life. And my job has not made it any easier. I love my friends, I do. I would do anything for them, and I do. But what I forget is that in between planning a trip to visit so and so and making a lunch date with such and such, I am leaving myself no time to take care of myself. I forget to incorporate the hobbies I love. I don’t think I went hiking all summer and I definitely didn’t go camping. I can count the number of times I have been rock climbing on one hand. I have had the same journal for over 2 years, that’s how little I sit down to write in it. My paints haven’t been opened since I moved out of my sisters house and I haven’t cooked a real meal at home in probably two months.

I know life changes and sometimes we don’t have time to do all the things we used to, and sometimes we don’t want to do all the things we used. But one thing is for certain, I want to make sure that I am constantly checking in with myself and listening to my needs. I want to give myself time to be me, to do the things that make me tick. If that means saying no to a few get-togethers or just turning off my phone for a couple hours, I want to be more intentional with my time. Because taking care of myself is the best way for me to take care of you, too.

NICEland

Iceland (or NICEland as we've been calling it) has exceeded expectations so far. We've seen the northern lights 3 of the 4 nights we've been here (and we didn't even try the first night because of jet lag and northern lights). We have had plenty of day light and starting this trip on a full moon has given us plenty of light at night also. The sky seems bigger here even when you are surrounded by mountains, and the Big Dipper has hung bright and true.
I think we have finally got a handle on jet lag. The first couple days we could barely drag ourselves out of be by 9:30, it's become more like 7:45 in recent times, even though each night is a late one bundled up outside in the wind huddled against the wheels of cutie patunia, our rental, chasing the lights of the north.
It's been hard to find good coffee in the morning since most shops and cafés don't open until 10 or 11, but the Te and Kaffi store, usually inside a souvenir and book shop, has come to our rescue multiple days around 9 am. However it's still been a battle against small cup syndrome.
And it's been great to be off the grid. I've only had internet two of the nights we have been here, so it's allowed ample time for journaling and sifting through the days photos without being interrupted by what's happening with casual acquaintances a world away.
Lastly, every sight we have seen and activity we have participated in has been breathtaking, nothing like we could have even imagined. From the highest waterfall to the most powerfull and all the "average" ones in between, pseudo craters, nighttime rainbows, fall colors on moss and birch trees, rolling hills and high fjords, turf roof houses and the old couple who sang to me for my birthday and gifted me a rose (which of course I have been putting in water every night and taking pictures of all along our journey). Most nights we have had a dorm room in a hostel all to ourselves and have been making friends along the way, most of which we have run into a second time at anther point of interest. The Myvatn nature baths at sunset (like the blue lagoon of the north, but less people), the glow of the constantly erupting volcano at night, and of course the northern lights and shooting stars that have ended each of our evenings. This morning we are heading out on a whale watching trip in an old wooden schooner from the fishing town of Husavik and finally having an unplanned afternoon to rest and relax and make our own.
I've been reminded again and again just how beautiful life is. We made this life. It didn't come easy (this trip has been in the dreaming an the making close to four years), but if you really want your life to look a certain way there is almost always a way to make it happen. There are things that happen which are beyond our control and can throw us off emotional and physically, but we have the power to make life out of lemons. It takes little pulling up by the boot straps, a little creativity and substitution, and a little bit of dreaming.
After seeing those dancing lights for the first magical time I said, "you know, it's like we have insurance on our happiness. So many good things have already happened that we are guaranteed a degree of happiness, but they have the possibility of always getting better."
We just have to keep our eyes open for the opportunities to see them.

It's Time Again For A New Chapter

I'm about to start another chapter. This has been a long, exhausting summer of working every single day. Props to those of you who do it for a life time, it's hard. It's hard especially when my second job takes me away from home for up to four days in a row. I've spent the summer tired, grumpy, and with little ambition or drive (or ability) to partake in the activities that make me feel alive.
So with one job wrapping up in a week and a savings account bursting at the seems (compared to what it was), I'm ready to start a new chapter and new goals.
I want this next year to be focused on positivity. Complaining less and loving more. Intentionality. I want to be outside as much as I can. I want to surround myself with people I love and people who love me. I want to try new things. I want to take classes, language, writing, psychology, mountain climbing. I want to learn proper punctuation. I want to do the old things I've always loved, photography, climbing, running, reading, writing... I want to take my mornings slow and sip coffee on my balcony. I want to visit all the national parks in Oregon and Washington.. And while we're at it I might as well head to California, Montana, and Utah.... I want to feel like I'm on the edge of everything. I want to love my life by living my life.
Care to join?

Where To Go From Here

In Alaska I felt alive, so much so I can't stop talking about it. But talking about it helps to make sense of where I am now, because lately things have been feeling less alive and more "angsty". I have been on a great winding road and have crash landed back in Oregon. I am now left with the task of unwinding my trail and figuring out who I am now, what is important to me, and how to get where I aim to go.

In Alaska life was simple. I was at the beginning of my youth and my future was stored somewhere a great distance away. I worked to save and when I wasn't working, I played. My relationships were intimate, vibrant and constant. There was consistent life in my house where the couch was always open for late night beers and conversation or hours of friends making music. It was also easily moved to the side for our Fourth of July or Lady Gaga dance party.

In Alaska my beliefs were daily challenged, nothing ever lay dormant. My life was full. I hiked, I ran, I climbed, I zipped, I boated with whales, I camped and I laughed every hour. Free time was seen as opportunity. A random encounter with a stranger quickly became the meeting of a close friend. Life was community and love encompassed everything we gave and received. At the close of each day I felt an emotional and physical exhaustion brought on by every day life, and sleep camp easy. Sometimes I would be woken all too soon to hike a mountain at midnight in order to catch a 3 a.m. sunrise, other times I wouldn't get to sleep till 3 in order to catch a glimpse of the midnight sun or northern lights. I read and I wrote and I laughed and I listened and the miniscule amount of music I could independently make was enough. Each moment was vibrant.

When I decided to not return to Alaska for another summer, but to "plant roots" and be stationary for a while, life became a challenge. Being a born dreamer I was quick to see the things I would miss out on and my disappointment blinded me from the opportunities at home. Honestly, the transition back into "city life" was hard. Relationships took extra work, the outdoors were hidden behind concrete and scooted farther away. I allowed myself to become bored and accept life as dull.

I became busy with tasks and commuting and working and slowly I closed up into myself, allowing the crowd to swallow me up. During this time I dreamed of the life I wanted. I dreamed of going to Iceland and hiking its mountains, swimming its pools, dancing with its people. I dreamed of friends popping by. I dreamed of spontaneous outings. But I didn't take action because now I was limited by time and money and location and occasionally health.

I have since procured a job in travel, moved to Seattle and back, and am now working two jobs for the summer, in order to save money for my impending trip to Iceland (and to pay off student loans, obviously). I have decorated my new apartment, ditched the bus for biking as often as possible, and am devouring multitudes of books at once. I am working hard at making every day intentional. I plan on writing more words, reading more books, hiking more mountains, listening to more music, laughing with more friends (at least with the lovely ones I already have), and delving further into more beliefs. It is invigorating to see dreams taking shape and to realize what I do have control over. I am working hard to make my life like it was in Alaska. I am working hard at making every day an adventure, because every moment should taste this sweet.