Wednesday, November 13, 2013

I Am My Grandpa's Granddaughter

I've been thinking a lot about my grandpa Clarence. He died 6 years ago and I never really knew him well. But I always felt we had a secret. He was a wild adventurer. I wish he could have lived to know he passed that on to me.

Tall, lanky, solid. He was a firm man who smelled like a mix of coffee, cigarettes, and the faint open road. A truck driving man, the road was his home, my inheritance. And when you have that in your blood it becomes your responsibility.

As I drive the wild roads to the Grand Canyon, to the corner of the world he called home, I realize the last time I drove here was just after his death. I was taking my Grandma back home to pack their things and move to a new corner of the world, a world of her own. I find myself wishing I had more time with him. I wish I could have sipped a whiskey with him, drank stale coffee, or sat on the porch inhaling his second hand smoke as we shared our stories of the road.

His life must have been rich in his own kind of way, a solace kind of way, and I yearn for it, even if only second hand. But I still feel him with me just like I did then. And I realize it's been 6 years this very day since his death but I've always known he was still around somewhere. I've found him, here, in my cup of black coffee on the open road.

Written 11-11-2013

Sunday, November 10, 2013


The sun warmed our faces, but it was love that warmed everything else. Sitting in Joshua Tree, watching two dear friends pledge to be together and we, all family, pledged to be alongside them. As it was we each made this pledge with the time we took off work and miles we traveled in order to sit on those wooden chairs as observers. And it isn't for nothing. The love they give us, the culture they have helped create to keep us all together, it has repaid us ten fold and ten fold again.
And so it was that after the aisle was walked and the promises made, the tears flowed. We made our toasts, we drank our drink, and our feet tap tap tapped, legs jump jump jumped, and bodies swayed side to side. Because they have love. Because we have love. And because we have all opened ourselves to that gift of love from each other.

A toast to you my loved friends. May your life be one sweet dance.