#atandywedding

The sun warmed our faces, but it was love that warmed everything else. Sitting in Joshua Tree, watching two dear friends pledge to be together and we, all family, pledged to be alongside them. As it was we each made this pledge with the time we took off work and miles we traveled in order to sit on those wooden chairs as observers. And it isn't for nothing. The love they give us, the culture they have helped create to keep us all together, it has repaid us ten fold and ten fold again.
And so it was that after the aisle was walked and the promises made, the tears flowed. We made our toasts, we drank our drink, and our feet tap tap tapped, legs jump jump jumped, and bodies swayed side to side. Because they have love. Because we have love. And because we have all opened ourselves to that gift of love from each other.

A toast to you my loved friends. May your life be one sweet dance.

Life's Constant Motion

Life doesn't necessarily happen to you. It happens, but that's not the same thing as it happening to you. "To you" suggests purpose, preconceived notions, a plan. As though you are important enough for life to make a special plan for you if you just follow the pre-paved path. As though you are some actor in a play you've never read, and you're supposed to say lines you've never heard. It's impossible. Life does happen though, constantly. It doesn't stop or slow or sleep. It is a collection of ideas, actions and non actions. If you sit around and wait for it, it will pass you by. It is motion. If you act on life, if you happen upon it and choose to happen to it, then you just might be able to hop on it and be swept away.

On Turning 25

I like having mile stones. It's nice to have a reason to stop and reflect. A reason to slow down and look around at where you are at, think about where you have been, and dream about where you are going.

I remember in middle school when one of my mentors turned 25 and I couldn't believe how old that was. He was married, had two kids, a real job, and lots of respect while somehow managing to still be a total goofball. I imagined at 25 my life would look a little something like that.

But here I am and my life is something totally different, and I am so thankful that it is. My life is my own and I have taken care to ensure it stays that way. There were things that I dreamt about for my future and I have challengws myself to looked them in the eye and to do them. I have been to many more places than I could have dreamed and seen so much more than I could have imagined. I have lived out my fairytale and it has changed me.

I have been blessed by the opportunities that have been laid down in front of me and I have been blessed by the people I have met along the way, people who have become family. People who have taught me invaluable lessons about loving and accepting love, about fearlessness and caution, about accepting myself and giving space for my feelings, about beauty, grace, forgiveness, slowing down, taking care of yourself so you can take care of others and allowing others to take care of you, about reciprocity and listening to all the sounds of all creation that are daily singing songs of these things.

In this birthday month I have had the chance to be surrounded by so many of these people, these family members. I feel full. Being 25 is something I have reached, but I have not reached it on my own. And however many years I have left, whatever big and little things life throws at me, I am lucky enough to know I won't be alone. I have so much love. This is the greatest gift.

A Tree On A Hill

She returns to a tree she sat under a year before and was shocked that it had returned to its previous state. All the leaves that once fell have regrown, changed colors, and are beginning to detach themselves from their constant life support. In a body that is constantly changing and moving forward, she was humbled by this trees turning of season. It's long shadow grazes the same grounds it had the year before and its leaves will soon cover them as well. Her aging eyes look over this old hill, the same hill this tree has watched over many years. She finds it a humble blessing to know a growing object can stay in one place, roots grown deep, and go through the same motions year after year. She finds it a humble blessing that all the while in its steady repetition, this wise aging tree has continued to provide space for a young girl learning to become a woman.

Things I've Learned From Project 365 Thus Far

Things I've learned from project 365 this far:
To look for beautiful things every day and to take photos of them, obviously. But what about the days I don't leave home, is there something beautiful to capture there? And what of the days I don't have access to my phone, can I find something in the last 5 minutes of the day that will subsist. And what of the days I am busy and don't have time to take a photo. Do I count it as loss and leave the day blank and start a trail for many other blank days that end up the same? Or is it ok to bend my own rules, substitution. And what of the days too beautiful to photograph? What of the people too beautiful to capture. What of my heart when its so full and what of my heart when it's been drained and left empty? And what if I save the best for myself and do not to share it, because beauty is often too delicate for scrutiny of many eyes. And anyway I'm not making art, I'm capturing things that are beautiful to me.

Time: Our Melodious Curse

Aging has haunted my thoughts. Not my aging in particular, but all aging. The longer you live, the more there is love. Love is something worked for, labored over, sought after, and carefully protected. And just when love is at its height (which really is every new moment), the loved are snatched.
But love doesn't stop. Curse it for it follows wherever we go for however long we are there. Once tasted, it cannot be denied, no matter how hard we try. So we, the lovers, are left with displaced emotions. The universe sings songs and our senses, which were born to sing along, cannot help but harmonize. Waves crashing, sizzling, foaming at our feet, banana bread pudding between our teeth, fresh air in our lungs, sweet melodies in our ears, and aging lovers on a beach, with time between them. Time, their testament, their banner, their trophy, their curse.

Beauty Of A Day

The things that make the day beautiful:
Waking to a gentle breeze I a house I love to the sounds of a neighborhood alive and busy.
A part of something.
Breakfast alone at a tasty place, sitting at the bar, chatty tender, paid for a stranger.
Part of something.
Walk to the park, views of a working city, sounds of the trains, the cars, the river, the chatter of passerby's. Part of something.
Trips to the water, reunions with friends, snuggles with pups, messages on machines, a shared bowl of fruit.
A Part of so many many something's.